Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize