the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
