So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
