i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
