I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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