I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
