Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
