You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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