the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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