i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Randomize
