I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
