i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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