is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
bring money and cleavage
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
