Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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