If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
they're like a gay fantastic four
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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