my vag is so smooth its legendary
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
