This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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