I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
