I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
