I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
