I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
