He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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