Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize