Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I pour the whiskey from now on
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
