somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
