Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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