Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
