I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize