so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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