why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
