I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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