There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
