Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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