i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
