I faked an abortion last night.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
