You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
