have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
