I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
