No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
wow bdsm is so cute
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
