hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
