pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
