I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
