UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
not ubering you a puppy
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize