He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
