I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
