it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
