wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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