I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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