covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
this is an emotional support booty call
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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