I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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