i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
