You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize