So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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