Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
