dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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