I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize