apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I could have mohawked her pubes.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
