Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
